Today is my birthday and it is also the second anniversary of this blog! Yippee!
I can’t believe how fast this past year has flown by, but I’ve managed to do a lot of amazing travelling and artistic projects in that time. Last year I vowed to put myself and my happiness first after a string of stressful and terrible jobs that left me empty and burned out. I’ve worked at two different jobs whilst here in Germany; one that was not so great again but another that was probably the best I’ve ever had.
Now that I’m another year older, I’ve been getting a bit of pressure from others to decide where I want to be next year and what I want to do with this blank canvas called life. I don’t yet know where I want to go next year, but I’ve known for a while now that all I want to keep doing is travelling and making art. These are my top priorities at the moment and if I could somehow spin a profession out of that, then that would be the dream.
My travel highlights of the past year would definitely include the magical white Christmas with my family in the Swiss Alps, our charming trip to Copenhagen, London and Innsbruck with my darling Schnucki and reuniting with my high school friends in the Greek Islands.
One of my greatest artistic moments this year was when I got to exhibit my Kimono Cat Collection at the Kunst Nacht or art night here in Passau, which is one of the biggest events on the social calender. My Schnucki set this opportunity up for me and I am eternally grateful to him – it really was a dream come true (read this post here!).
I am so thankful for all of these opportunities and amazing people in my life and I really do count my lucky stars every day. I hope the coming year will also be full of love and happiness and that I’ll be able to achieve the goals that I am striving for!
P.S. The biggest lesson that I have to keep reminding myself about this year is: stop giving so much of yourself away when you’re receiving nothing back. This applies to work, friends and basically anything else. If you keep putting so much effort and time into people and things when you’re getting nothing in return, it’s time to stop and let it go. Otherwise you’ll just drive yourself into a frustrated ruin. Remember to look after yourself and put your own oxygen mask on before helping others!
So, thank you to everyone that has been following and supporting me so far!
Here’s to another epic year of travels, art and happiness!
At 21, I was a bright eyed and bushy tailed recent graduate who was ready to take on real life and a full time job in the ‘adult world’. But as it turned out, the ‘adult world’ was equally ready to squash me and my naïve soul flat into the ground.
Here are 21 things no adult ever tells you about breaking into ‘their’ world:
1. Getting qualifications doesn’t equal a good job
I don’t know why this always comes as a shock to us recent graduates, but studying for years and finally getting your qualifications does not guarantee you a great full time job afterwards. Somehow we expect employers to be fighting over us as soon as we cross the graduation line but that is usually not the case. If anything, we are fighting to get just one call back, or get noticed at all.
2. You may be unemployed for quite a while
Congratulations, you have graduated! If you’re part of the majority of people who don’t have a company taking them on prior to graduation, trying to find a full-time job is now your new full-time job. And it’s not going to be easy. Prepare to spend a lot of time sending out C.Vs and E-mails and a lot of time of waiting for one reply.
3. Connections are more important than you think
Everyone says that the best way to get a job is through connections and they’re probably right. Employers are much more likely to hire you if they know about you already from a trusted colleague, friend or family member. So sift through your contacts and ask around if anyone knows someone that’s hiring.
4. When something sounds too good to be true, it usually is
When a job description sounds too good to be true, it usually is. Exercise caution when job hunting!
5. Minimum wage is still your pay
I know you studied all of those years so you don’t have to earn minimum wage anymore, but the truth is that most employers will still only pay you minimum wage at the start. You have to show your ‘worthiness’ to the company to finally get a pay raise and even then, you may have to fight for it.
6. People will use your age against you
In two completely different job interviews for completely different positions, I was basically told that I was too young for it. I mean, what was I supposed to with that? Was I supposed to go away and gulp down an ageing potion like the Weasley twins?
Sure, they probably wanted people with more ‘experience’, but there could definitely be older people who lacked the right experience that they were looking for too. No need to blame age for it.
7. All they want is experience
One of the most frustrating things about job hunting was that everyone wanted ‘experience’ from you. How was any recent grad supposed to have one or two years work experience prior to the job? The best you can do is apply for and/or work internships whilst studying but sometimes that isn’t even enough ‘experience’ to satisfy them.
8. A lot of bosses are not good leaders
I think this image pretty much sums it up:
9. Given the chance, people will take advantage of you
Since you’re the young rookie at work, people will dump extra jobs on you that you will take on because you don’t know any better. They will also keep you in the dark as long as possible about the higher wage that you should actually be getting paid but are not – because you don’t know any better.
10. The work force can be full of sad, angry adults
One thing you have to remember in life is that the way someone treats you is a reflection of their character, not yours. With my stint in full-time work, I came across a lot of sad and angry adults.
These adults were stuck in a job that they’d been too long at, stuck somewhere where they’d never envisaged themselves being. They hated the job and they hated themselves for not getting themselves out of it, which lead to this hate being released on other people – mainly the staff that worked under them, including me.
11. Sexism is very much alive and well
This comes as no surprise to most women, but sexism is still rampant in workplaces. The boss would shout at me from the other side of the office to make his tea and other drinks and personally deliver them to him, as if he couldn’t do it himself (what was this, the 1950s?!).
He would also go around the young women of the office and massage their shoulders every morning (yes, it was as gross and as creepy as it sounds). So let me state this: no man or woman anywhere should be touching any other person without consent and under NO CIRCUMSTANCES is ANYONE allowed to touch you without your permission – especially not disgusting, misogynistic bosses older than your dad.
12. Workplace gossip can be ruthless
I thought I had left all of this petty gossip and backstabbing behind in high school but boy, was I wrong. The majority of the staff gossiped about the other members of staff like you would not believe. Especially if new staff members started, the more ‘experienced’ staff would relay all of the mistakes they had made, laugh about it and even rate who was best at the job so far.
13. No, you haven’t left high school behind – or kindergarten
I was also shocked to find that some of the people (high up in the hierarchy) sometimes acted like children in the workplace by shouting, throwing tantrums and picking favourites among the staff. They acted like children but they were so much worse because kids don’t know any better, but these fully grown adults most definitely did.
14. Not being able to trust your workmates is bad…really bad
Since there was so much gossiping and backstabbing going on, I had trust issues with the other staff. I couldn’t sincerely trust any of them because I never knew if they were relaying things I did or said to the other staff. This was a problem because I started to get paranoid and read too much into what they were saying – or not saying.
15. Some people will not treat you like a real person
Some people that are older than you and higher up the food chain will cease to treat you like a real person. One manager I had would use shame tactics when she told off new members of staff. Instead of taking me aside and telling me one-on-one what mistake I had made, she shamed me in front of all of the staff members and humiliated me. There is a vital difference between constructive criticism and point blank insulting.
16. Hypocrisy and double standards are everywhere
This was the last straw for me in my last job. I always try and stand for equality and fairness in all situations, but I didn’t find that in this workplace, at all. There would be a lot of things that managers told us never to do, and then we’d turn around and they would be the ones doing it – with no punishment, of course.
There was also shocking double standards where I would do something that I’d get told off for, and then another more favoured staff member would do exactly the same thing and not one word would be said.
17. No one wants to be the scapegoat
At one of my jobs there were a lot of situations I was deeply unhappy with. No one spoke up about any of it and no one tried to change it. Everyone avoided confrontation because no one wanted to be the scapegoat. Was this the way adults acted in ‘professional’ environments? Were we supposed to just put up with this all day, everyday? In the end I couldn’t take it anymore and I was so sick of staying silent…so I confronted (and quit the next day).
18. Make sure you know all of your rights as an employee
This one is really important. Before you even begin a new job, make sure you know all of your rights as an employee. Make sure you know your employee rights according to what country you’re in and make sure you read through your new job’s Employment Contract properly before you sign. You should be allowed to take it home and look over it without any pressure to sign it right away. And make sure you GET an Employment Contract too! (I worked at a law firm and I was’t even given one – this is against the law, ironically enough. I used this fact against them in the bitter end).
19. You are allowed to say NO
I know you’re at your new job and you want to be setting a good impression to everyone, but just remember that you are always allowed to say NO. You are not Jim Carrey in Yes Man – if you’re already swamped out with too much work, you can refuse to take on more work an older colleague is trying to dump on you.
You can also say no to jobs in interviews – there is no job that you have to take, no matter how much the employer is trying to pressure you into it. You’ve always got the power (cue ‘I’ve got the power’ scene from Bruce Almighty).
20. Never ever ignore your gut instinct
After the first training day at one of my jobs, I already knew deep in my gut that I didn’t want to take the job, but I did anyway. I still wish I could go back and undo that decision. Your gut always knows best, so don’t ignore it.
21. Your own happiness and health is much more important than a ‘great’ job
If the worst comes to worst and your job is badly affecting your health and state of mind (like mine was) – QUIT IT NOW. It was the best decision I ever made. Although it may not seem like it, there are a lot of other jobs out there and no job is worth trading your health or happiness for. This is precious time in your life that you’re never getting back – make sure it’s worth it.
To all recent graduates:
To all recent graduates, or anyone for that matter, I just want you to remember that you all have a choice. You always have a choice. Do not let other people or what you are ‘expected’ to do ever get in your way.
When you’re choosing a job, take your time and be careful. Ask questions, always. Challenge ideas that you think are wrong, no matter who’s ideas they are. Don’t stay silent and let it crush you, like it crushed me.
I wish I’d never had to experience these awful jobs, but I know that I learned a lot of important lessons from them. People write about relationships and heartbreak all the time, but no one ever talks about how a job can break you.
We’re all taught the tired old mantra of superheroes saving the day since we’re little and we believe it, to an extent. But in real life, sometimes there’s no one there to realise you’re in trouble. You can be in too deep for anyone to hear your cries for help.
Sometimes, you have to be your own hero.
Has anyone else been through/going through this at the moment?
If you haven’t heard about Iris Grace yet, I’m here to tell you about her now.
I’ve been following Iris’ adventures on her Facebook page for over two years and her world never fails to astound me.
Iris Grace Halmshaw is a six year old living in Britain who has Autism. She struggles with words and social interactions but what she expresses through her paintings is something truly magnificent. Initially, painting just started out as another form of therapy for Iris, a way to relax her, but the way she painted with skill well beyond her years even surprised her parents.
Iris’ parents shared her paintings and her story to spread awareness for Autism – and it went global. Iris’ paintings weren’t the only reason her story went viral however, because in 2014 after cat-sitting a cat and seeing Iris’ positive reaction towards it, her parents decided to get her a friend…and so Iris met Thula (pronounced Too-la).
Thula is a Maine Coon cat, which is a breed known for their intelligence and loving nature. Iris took to Thula immediately, and they started doing everything together. Napping, playing, biking, painting – Thula even played in the bath with Iris!
The friendship between these two is so heart warming and beautiful. It really shows the deeply therapeutic effect animals can have on humans. Iris’ mother Arabella is a photographer, so naturally she takes amazing shots of Iris and Thula together.
Iris’ parents went to a lot of trouble to find a school that might be suitable for Iris’ needs but after no luck, they decided to home-school her for the moment.
Arabella also started an Autism friendly home based activity group called The Little Explorer’s Club, which runs every Saturday with all sorts of fun activities for the kids like music workshops, animals encounters, cooking and much more.
When I was in primary school, there was a boy with Autism in my class who had a tutor that would help him every day. A few years later I met him by chance on the public bus, and not only did he remember me, he told me that he had a job and could travel on his own now. His family and his workplace would call his cell phone and check up on him occasionally, but it was so cool to see him like that, so independent.
Everyone deserves a chance to be something great.
I love seeing Iris and Thula pop up on my Facebook newsfeed and it’s astounding how much progress Iris has made with her words and the ways she handles social situations over the past few years. If you’re curious about Iris and Thula’s ongoing adventures too, I suggest you like her Facebook page.
If you haven’t heard of Endometriosis before, you NEED to know about this – everybody needs to know about this.
This is not just a woman’s issue. Men need to know about this too if they have girls and women in their lives that they care about. Your mother, sister, partner, friend or colleague could have this condition, and chances are, it is actually very likely that at least one person you know has it. If someone important to you has Endometriosis, it is an issue that will affect you too.
So, what is Endometriosis?
Endometriosis is a common condition where the tissue similar to the lining of the uterus is found growing outside of the uterus, where it shouldn’t be. It can cause inflammation, cysts or nodules to form anywhere within the pelvic region; on the ovaries, bowel, bladder, uterus and more. As you can imagine, this can cause chronic pain for the person that has it and they may not even know that this is caused by Endometriosis.
Off the top of my head, I can think of about 5 people that I know that has Endometriosis, and there are probably more that I don’t know about. I have heard and read so many stories about women that have said they have suffered through years of this condition whilst being undiagnosed or even misdiagnosed by doctors.
It is such a common condition, it affects over 176 million women worldwide, and yet so little is known about it. And there is no known cure. Even after multiple operations to get the cysts and/or nodules removed, it can still come back.
If you suspect that you or someone you know may have Endometriosis, please get it checked out. Even if doctors think it’s something else, or that you’re ‘too young’ or ‘too old’ to have it, keep looking for a doctor or gynaecologist who knows about Endometriosis and can help you. This disease is too awful to have to handle on your own or to suffer in silence.
Awareness is always the first step, so make sure to spread the word!